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March 06 Apparently I 'm a bitch........I can live with that!At least I can say school is going smoothly. I maybe burning the midnight oil at work doing it half the time but it gets done as well as totally keeps me motivated as I am just fascinated by it and learning way too much for my brain to hold, I swear!
With that said.....the countdown begins as my last offical day at work is the 14th; I was informed weeks ago that I was getting replaced by a security system. [meh!] It really wasn't all that surprising since the enire company is being "restructured", which means they don't really know what the hell they are doing until they find someone to fluck it all up more than it really is. Somehow they can warrant promotions and title changes for management that basically do more work with the same pay, at the same time lay off dozens of workers. I've watched so many good guys get their walking papers in the last month that the rest feel they are on borrowed time as well. Morale is low and I am kinda glad to get out of there before the whole ship sinks.
Which brings me to my title from the loving family they always were. They are not happy that I am intitled to my mother's entire estate, which I may add includes part of my dad's {whom they never liked} also. I had to get a lawyer involved as they were seeming to gang up on me because the house my mom partly owns is being lived in by my aunt that doesn't want to leave yet cannot afford the place on her own. How's that? Oh, I think they wanted me to take over the payments so she can continue to stay. Therefore, I am said bitch, as I have my own payments thank you very much and with the anomosity I get from most of mother's family......why the hell should I? So I am forced to force her out, collect the dough and bid adieu to such a wacked out bunch! Heheheh. There just maybe a part of me that is enjoying it-----just a little-----but we shall see because this could last for months until it is all said and done. February 18 Guilt, Judgment & ForgivenessYou may prepare yourself for times that you are coming but it is a whole other thing when it arrives and you are forced to react-----and there is nothing left. When all you remember is the ridicule, knit-picking and judgement when there shouldn't have been any. I can't find much in myself to give into grief when all I remember are the things that were said or done/not done that crushed me in the past. When you think you've made a positve contribution in life, in general but only to find that you should've done it differently. I can't say it is relief, I can't say it is saddness, maybe it is still shock. But it does seem the rollercoaster ride I have been on with my mother finally derailed. We had too little time to arrange with our work, as Roomie was determined to go with, and book flights to B.C. in efforts to get to there in time but alas, she would've responded that I must not have done that right or quickly enough. As her stubbornness and rigidity didn't stop her from passing on the morning of Valentine's Day.
So what do you do when it seems everything that you have done in the past and present makes you realize that as you are making choices for what you think is for the best , you realize that the thought always was: "what is she going to say about that?" Though, I never made decisions to please her, obviously, because everything I did was wrong in her eyes anyway. But I'm starting to grasp the concept of being able to be in control without being afraid to say what's going on or how I really feel because I no longer have to make excuses or answer about why I am the way I am or why I did this or that. So odd really because if it were anyone else on this earth questioning me, I'd tell them to piss off. Strange thing how family can make you feel inadequate when they are supposed to be your constant and true support system. Which brings more irony as I was told there is no point to me coming to the memorial and that all her things are being dispersed among family. Interesting how things can leave you either sitting on the sidelines as an observer but now that think about it, I think I always was. January 02 ALOHA!For my bloggin friends that are still left. [lol]
I am swimmin & smoozin & cruisin & boozin!!
See ya' in a couple weeks! December 17 Christmas
> > The Night Before Christmas This poem was written by a peace keeping soldier stationed overseas. December 04 I've Committed Myself......Well, maybe I really should--------------but I've signed up for 12 hours shifts at work to accummulate enough money for our 'every-2-years-trip' to Oahu,it will be our last for a while as I'm taking the plunge into going back to school to earn what I need to to begin a new course in my life. I know, I know, it's about bloody time!  With full support from Roomie, which I'm really going to need because who knows what the future will hold come spring. Shit seems to always hit the fan when you really don't need it; issues with my mother arise again. On a whim she moved to another province, now she's expecting me to drop everything & run there for Christmas. In so many pleasant words I said "it's not going to happen". Don't have the time nor the cash at the moment. Gritting my teeth I did invite her here but she, in so many not so pleasant words said "no way!" Of course, the whole unspoken reason was because I will not allow her to smoke in my house. Unfortunately or fortunately, with the scheduling I've sighed myself up for, christmas will come and go without a noticed for I'm hell bent on my trip before the real nitty-gritty begins. My one last harrah before I have to act like a grown up. November 08 Don't Forget.....................to take a moment this weekend to give respect and honor our soldiers from the past and the present.
November 06 For the sake of an update...............................
October 31 Who Are You Really Impressing?One Sunday morning, an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt, and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn-out old hat and an equally worn-out Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed in expensive clothes and accessories. As the cowboy took a seat,the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship." The old cowboy assured the preacher he would. The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church." "I did," replied the old cowboy. "If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher. "Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in this church. October 22 Weird & WackyWatching the news this morning with my large mug o' joe, there will always be things that can still outrage and other stuff that can just leave you shaking your head. Seems over the weekend in Smalltown, Ab. an 82 year old was struck and killed my a train; the poor conductor of the loki blared the horn numerous times but the senior paid no heed and was hit. the clincher was that the man's body flew through the air and struck a teenager walking on the sidewalk. No, I'm not shittin' ya. The teen is in hospital expected to make a recovery.
 Seems wacky, eccentric Trump is at it again. The Donald doesn't seem to understand that his mouth & his money can't buy everything and has come to battle with a Scot. He wants to buy the man's beautiful ancestoral land to build a multi-million dollor golf club. Nope, just can't seem to be enough of those around. Trump is his usual odious self going to the media with name-calling and over exaggerated claims; just because he's pissed the guy isn't caving into all the cash that is thrown at him. The owner of the property said it has been in his family for generations and doesn't want to sell the natural land for a sculpted golf course. Trump may also be ruffling the feathers of the conservationists in Scotland that want to keep the land by the sea a natural perserve. I hope the dude sticks with his stubbornness as only a true Scot will do know matter what Trump offers; the Donald could use some lessons in humanity and realize the though the world may be run by money, that sometimes that's not what it is all about. October 19 Sad Isn't It?I sit here looking at the screen with nothing to say. I could complain, I suppose about everything & everyone in general but what would it solve but get me all worked up to start another night as work. The company is trying their "aren't we just happy & blissful place to work" ethic by having a Halloween party tonight. Stupid how they send me an invitation---------ah, I'm working!! Helllllllllllllllllllllllo. Unless perhaps I should show up in my uniform as ah, let's see------a Security Guard!! This party is for the employees to schmooze with the suits and get to know them better when really they won't give them the time of day; so what are the bets that the suits will be at their tables and the rest will be socializing with the same people they always do. Just like high school. everyone has their groups and no one uses the opportunity to "schmooze" with the other side like we're supposed to. Meh, another tactic for contract talks just to smooth things over. Sadly some can be swayed others not so easily. Thank goodness we are on the outside looking in but when you work around these guys it's hard not to be rooting for them. I look forward to a no-strings-attached Halloween party on Saturday to meet people that want to be met.
I toddle on to work everyday with the same blank expression so many others do. Is this really what we are supposed to do? I was talking with the dude next door a few weeks ago and he isn't thrilled with his job either but he says he's only got 15 more years until retirement, with a full pension. 15 years of mundane work, dragging your ass to a job you hate. Is that what it's all about? A pension IS hard to come by now-a-days but 15 years?! In a sad way it is wasted years, don't you think? Are we supposed just act like robots, to work until we retire so then we can start enjoying life? Some people don't make it. This all crosses my mind in the hopes that somewhere along the line I hoped to have a revelation and either decide to do something I really want to do or someone knocks on my door and offers a chance of a lifetime. [yeah, like that's going to happen.] I've come far passed the pity of being ripped off from what my true dream was until things went haywire; and remember that this job was just supposed to last until I find something better. That was how many years ago?! CRAP! Wasted years? With the aspects that interest me I have concluded I need to go back to school. Where to find the time & money is a whole other hurdle. So I do what the guy next door does and like so many other people, I plug along as the days go by wishing I was doing something else, somewhere else and wonder how many more 'wasted' days/months/years will go by until it happens. Something is bound to happen, sometime right? October 15 Hep Me!!> Subject: Fw: Sweet Grandma A sweet grandmother telephoned St.Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear." "What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302". The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse." After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, "Good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine. Her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday". The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried. God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lately coming here has been a pain in the ass. Is it me or are things all fucked up again?!! I have trouble blogging, commenting or just getting around. My pictures are all screwed up, if they are there at all and I've received friend invites from people I don't know with others that say I invited them!~ Wtf? No I haven't been drinkin! Maybe the msn ptb have!!
October 09 If a Woodchuck could chuck wood what wood would a woodchuck chose? Last week had me filling in for a sickly co-worker and just when I was starting to adjust to day-shift I'm back on eves! I did enjoy getting back to my ritual of walking by the river this morning, with the sun coming up and yes an unfortunate autum chill in the air but still a promise of another Alberta cloudless-blue sky-kinda day. I spent sometime poking around hardwood stores and who knew there were so many?! Just when I would narrow it down to a couple samples, I would spy another store and bring home more. At one point Roomie and I had almost half the floor covered in samples and figured we could collect a few more and finish the job; it would be a lot cheaper! Lmao. Maybe start a new trend with a checkerboard effect. The trouble was remembering what stores the samples belonged to.
 However, we did conclude that we have it narrowed for the third time, to two, a red oak or a funky cherry. Hopefully my floor will be restored by the end of the month and cover up those ugly old floor planks. My cat won't be all dusty anymore and we'll have to cover our feet with bubble wrap. Then we can sit back and admire the beauty before realizing we'll need to paint. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A fire fighter is working on an engine outside the station and notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon.
There are little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.
That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks" the girl says.
The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's
collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner", the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar too, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren!" September 26 Too Close. A few weeks ago, I watched the news as they interviewed reservist that were heading to Afghanistan. I looked at them closely and tried to remember their names in hopes and prayers that I wouldn't hear about them again.......................
September 20 Men's Answer To Maxine.MAX How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. -------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to Build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ------------------------------------------------------------------- September 13 Not Of Sound Mind & Body This weekend I will have to look into a solution for last weekends blunder-ah---er, problem. See, it was like this---------------I--ummm, we were sitting around chillin with a 'friend', well, a friend's friend who new this bloak. So, anyway, I am not knowing the amount and from the varieties of empty bottles on my kitchen table who drank what, when and how much. The door was open pretty much all weekend so it couldn't have been all from us-------------right? Anyway, said friend make a crack about a the few cracks in the tile on my kitchen floor. I didn't put it down so I am not to blame for the cracky------er crappy job; the comment lead my mouth-ta-flappin' about how I'd love to put hardwood throughout my kitchen & livingroom. Really? Well, this dude new a dude that could give me a deal on hardwood and installation. Hmmmm. It was dropped for a while as we raided the kitchen and even went for a walk. Okay,so it was to the liquor store but it still counts as exercise. somehow we got to talking about the flooring again and about what needs to be done about the tiles, what wood is best and where to start etc. My wonderful, supportive shit-for-brains, Roomie stands up and drips his glass of red wine on the carpet and says: "Let's start here."
Now I'm thinking if it were any other day I would have kicked his sorry ass down to that big red wine spot and hand him a brush. But this day............we looked at each other, went to our respective corners and started to peel away the carpet. Has anyone ever done this? This is quite a disgusting task; I do not live in filth, I'm a bit of a freak when it comes to clean and tidy [everything better be in it's damn place!]. But this grossed me out so, that it got me more determined to get rid of that carpet. I know the carpet is old and that I am not the original owner of the house, I got critters and have had our share of traffic in & out. But to see the dusty, dirt under there with the deterioration of the backing itself and you know what 90% of dust is...........skin!! **gag--choke--barf** This realization far out did the moment I found toe nails in my vents shortly after I moved in.
I can't tell you how long it took because somewhere in there and a bottle of wine or 2 (who's counting?) I had carpet and underlay filling my backyard and a roomful of dust & debris in the kitchen. I will confess after waking up and seeing the destruction I had to wonder if I really wanted hardwood this bad. As well as another scarey thought--------------what the hell was that guys name that said he had a buddy that could give me a deal?
Roomie's up shit creek for a while until he can work on this problem of ours. Yeah, I know, no body held a gun to my head but well he started it {she's says with a whine} and after all he is a man, and it's always their fault!
 The moral of this story? Never mix wine and a tub of Coolwhip.
September 10 Inner PeaceI am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and never finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off 23 Rickards, a bottle of Sambuca, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace. Heard that one? How about this: A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs. Okay, not really that funny..............
 September 04 OOPS! I Did It Again.....................It was a beautiful long weekend and you better take advantage while it's here because the trees are already turning. So I jump on my bike, with beverage and snack anticipating a glorious ride down the river pathway. I got about 4 blocks from home when I slowed up as I came across a mom, dad and 'lil buddy' going the opposite way. Thinking it was all clear I started off again only to see from the corner of my eye 'lil buddy' at my left side and damn if the rug-rat didn't swerve in front of me and stop. I t-boned him. All he did was fall over on his bike but I was airbourne as my bike stopped, tangled up with his and I'm flying over the hand bars. K, so I DO remember thinking "this could be bad". Then I landed, flat out on my back; sat there a moment while lil buddy's parents scoop him up and mumble, I assume, some sort of apology in broken english. Someone asks if I need a cell phone, I'm thinking for what?? To call a fricken lawyer because my bike is done. I scrape myself off the pavement and scout around for my right shoe that seemed to have flown the coop, in fear I guess. I see my broken water bottle and pieces of my chain guard. My gears for my bike are all f*#@ed up that I could barely walk it home. It wasn't until I started home that I finally felt my injuries screaming. Scrapes all up my left leg, my good knee was already starting to swell up, sprained my right wrist [now how am I going to flip people the bird when I'm driving?----lol] I had a slice across my ladybug tattoo on my right ankle and had to peek down my pants to see a bloody mess on my left hip. At home I see I could've been suffering a mega headache if it weren't for my helmet , it's toast from a crack now.
So roomie takes me to Ikea to by me lunch. LOL. Hey, you can't beat 50 cent hotdogs!!! Beside it cheers a sore body up to watch how many silly people go on spending sprees and then pull up in a little economy car and try to fit all their boxed pieces of funiture in the trunk. You can see it on their faces as soon as they back into the stall; they size up the situation but they still try. Lmfao!!! We even thought we should start taking bets on who's going to get it in one trip or who will have to come back-------sometimes with a bigger vehicle. That old commerial with the vw-bug carrying tall layers of furniture couldn't be more true.  |
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